So for the last couple of days by brain has been ceasing with noise: will I find people to fill this building, am I choosing the right apartment in Mankato, am I going to be happy in Mankato (a town smaller than Marshall and we all know how small towns and I get along), how am I going to get money together to do all of this, what's in store for me, is this new life and new happiness I've finally found going to leave me once I leave town, how am I going to leave Lex, how am I going to leave the girls, how am I going to leave Ben, all of it...
Today was an especially intense period of this sort of thought and I didn't know what to do about any of it, so I did the unthinkable:
I called my dad for help and advice. And he gave it to me.
Then I called my boyfriend for support and love. And he gave it to me.
And then when I was still at a loss...albeit, a much smaller loss than before...
Ben had a wonderful surprise for me, a surprise that will definitely lift me from this funk, a surprise incredibly thoughtful and selfless (as he is not a fan), and he said, "Baby, I got us tickets to see Harry Potter tonight. You'll be okay after that."
And he is so right. I will be okay. With Doug, Ben, and Harry having my back, I really have nothing to worry about.
Thursday, July 12, 2007
Monday, July 9, 2007
a post by Lex...
ex LEX NIKKI TAKING SWIM CLASS WHAT DID WE DO IN SWIM CLASS?////?? KICKINGUING AND FLOATING ANDBLOWING BUBBLES LOVE LEX
**please note I seriously had nothing to do with the contents, typing, or word decisions made in this post. he'll be 3 in august...
**please note I seriously had nothing to do with the contents, typing, or word decisions made in this post. he'll be 3 in august...
Sunday, July 8, 2007
The Fourth with the Fam!
There was food, frivolity, and fireworks! What more could you want?
Oh, and my first foray with bocce ball... Who knew this was fun?
Oh, and my first foray with bocce ball... Who knew this was fun?
while i'm sharing...
this is more for those of you not in minneapolis, but...
this is ben. we're in love.
now you know. :)
this is ben. we're in love.
now you know. :)
Fisherwoman Extraordinaire!
I haven't been fishing in years and years and years... Until a few weeks ago when Scooter (my favorite brother-in-law), Doug, and I decided to go and instill the fear of God into the poor little fishies of southwest Minnesota.
Who knew fishing was fun?
Couldn't resist...LOOK AT THOSE BOYS!!! How proud am I?!
Who knew fishing was fun?
Couldn't resist...LOOK AT THOSE BOYS!!! How proud am I?!
in case you'd like a visual...
I mention Lex a bunch...mainly because he cracks me up daily and is my favorite. I may not mention how beautiful this little boy is because the whole baby genius topic tends to take over. So here are my favorite Lex pics!
Wanna know what a frog says? Lex'll tell you: CRRRROOOOAAAAK!!!
Monday, July 2, 2007
India, Chapter 4...tidbits...
This was at Ghandi Smriti, where Mahatma Ghandi spent the last 144 days of his life and where he was assassinated. It was a really powerful place.
The rest of it speaks for itself, I think. India sort of proclaims itself to be a rich country where a lot of poor people live and it couldn't be more accurate. There are, of course, more stories not told in this blog. Stories of Ram taking me down seven stories under ground to explore a delapidated palace or people staring wherever I went, to the point of having one man just follow me around with a tray in case I needed something in Neemrana, stories of children with open wounds knocking on our car windows asking for money and food or watching cremation ceremonies in awe, stories of inner-peace and self-reckoning... but I just don't think I can share everything. It wouldn't be right. So instead of getting pretensious and spiritual, I will just say thank you... India changed my heart. And now you know.
Namaste...Om Namah Shivaya...
The rest of it speaks for itself, I think. India sort of proclaims itself to be a rich country where a lot of poor people live and it couldn't be more accurate. There are, of course, more stories not told in this blog. Stories of Ram taking me down seven stories under ground to explore a delapidated palace or people staring wherever I went, to the point of having one man just follow me around with a tray in case I needed something in Neemrana, stories of children with open wounds knocking on our car windows asking for money and food or watching cremation ceremonies in awe, stories of inner-peace and self-reckoning... but I just don't think I can share everything. It wouldn't be right. So instead of getting pretensious and spiritual, I will just say thank you... India changed my heart. And now you know.
Namaste...Om Namah Shivaya...
India, Chapter 3...the experiences...
So, in India, they don't believe in Homosexuality and if one is open/discovered to be one, they are made into eunachs and considered bad omens. Therefore, you see all these men holding hands in the streets like they have succumbed to puppy love, yet they are married. Or you see a man like this. I've named him the Pink Peacock Pundit. He was a dancer in Neemrana who was, hands down, the gayest thing I have ever seen, god bless his queer little heart...and you all know how I love the gays and know a plethora of them. He had three moves: hip swivels, a mean shimmy, and a whirling dervish move reminiscent of a toddler spinning until they fell over. He made 7 costume changes in a 45 minute show. One of his pieces was him spinning, then going from table to table, demanding they take a picture of him...which is what you're seeing here. Oh, and his dance partner was his wife. Right. Sure it was.
I spent a day at Mother Theresa's Charity, playing with the orphans. This little boy, Joe, and I fell in love. When I had to leave him there, I have never felt such loss and sadness in my heart. I tried to figure out any possible way of taking him home with me, but I knew now was not the time. He was perfect and smiled all the time. There was an absolute connection that I cannot describe, other than to say it awakened me. I will go back one day and adopt. There are too many babies out there who are perfect and smile all the time and don't have families because of stupid things like missing fingers and bad omens. I will be a mother to one of those children one day.
Here I am washing my feet before entering the Sikh temple. Exploring all of the different religions that we as Americans know so little about was really wonderful. Sikhs get a bad wrap, but I have to say, every one that I met was kind, lovely, and eager to share. And the baby Sikhs had total street cred. Not kidding. I really loved them all.
Okay. So I go to a slum, having a great time, playing with the kids, it's all hugs and kisses. They usher me to sit on a blanket. I'm all trusting the sweet little street urchin angels not to kill me. And then all of a sudden there's a cobra around my neck and two in my lap. I've never been so close to peeing myself in my life. I loved it!
I love this story. I'm at Agra Fort here, built by Akbar the Great who was known for his fair attitudes and uniting India through all of its diversity. He even went so far as to have 3 wives (1 Hindu, 1 Muslim, 1 Christian) and 303 concubines (1 from each tribe) to show he held no religious preference. Busy man. Anyway, when someone was convicted of a crime, they would put their head on this stone for an elephant to step on, thus executing the criminal. Akbar, knowing that elephants were the only animal to think for themself, gave the criminal 3 chances. If the elephant did not kill the convicted by the third try, he was released and Akbar assumed that the convict was actually innocent and that the gods wanted him free. Interesting, huh? And yes, in this scenario, I am playing the part of the elephant.
I spent a day at Mother Theresa's Charity, playing with the orphans. This little boy, Joe, and I fell in love. When I had to leave him there, I have never felt such loss and sadness in my heart. I tried to figure out any possible way of taking him home with me, but I knew now was not the time. He was perfect and smiled all the time. There was an absolute connection that I cannot describe, other than to say it awakened me. I will go back one day and adopt. There are too many babies out there who are perfect and smile all the time and don't have families because of stupid things like missing fingers and bad omens. I will be a mother to one of those children one day.
Here I am washing my feet before entering the Sikh temple. Exploring all of the different religions that we as Americans know so little about was really wonderful. Sikhs get a bad wrap, but I have to say, every one that I met was kind, lovely, and eager to share. And the baby Sikhs had total street cred. Not kidding. I really loved them all.
Okay. So I go to a slum, having a great time, playing with the kids, it's all hugs and kisses. They usher me to sit on a blanket. I'm all trusting the sweet little street urchin angels not to kill me. And then all of a sudden there's a cobra around my neck and two in my lap. I've never been so close to peeing myself in my life. I loved it!
I love this story. I'm at Agra Fort here, built by Akbar the Great who was known for his fair attitudes and uniting India through all of its diversity. He even went so far as to have 3 wives (1 Hindu, 1 Muslim, 1 Christian) and 303 concubines (1 from each tribe) to show he held no religious preference. Busy man. Anyway, when someone was convicted of a crime, they would put their head on this stone for an elephant to step on, thus executing the criminal. Akbar, knowing that elephants were the only animal to think for themself, gave the criminal 3 chances. If the elephant did not kill the convicted by the third try, he was released and Akbar assumed that the convict was actually innocent and that the gods wanted him free. Interesting, huh? And yes, in this scenario, I am playing the part of the elephant.
India, Chapter 2...the sights!
See? I told you I would get it done eventually. Since this is deemed 'the Sights', what better sight to begin with than the Taj Mahal? It really is as incredible as everyone says...
Alright, here is my absolute FAVORITE India quirk. There are freakin' cows everywhere! Traffic has to stop for them. People have to move from them. Bikes have to veer around them. And no one cares. Cows are holy because a)a cow fed Krishna after his birth when his mother died and b)Shiva has a pet cow, Nandi. India believes that everyone has 4 mothers: 1. Your birth Mother 2. Mother India 3. Mother Ganga-ji (the Ganges River) 4. The cow. It's incredible. This picture was taken in Mathura, the birthplace of Krishna and seeing a city bus stop so the cow could leisurely take its time crossing the street is no obscure thing. Don't you love it?
This is Kavita Dweli, an Odissi dancer that absoutely inspired me. She was compelling, specific, and humble. An absolute gift.
Ah, Ganesha... The elephant-headed son of Shiva and Pavarti is my absolute favorite Hindu god. He is the remover of obstacles in your life and a blessing when beginning new things. I am always beginnig new things and for my first dance had to wear an elephant head. It seemed intuitive that I fall in love with Ganesh. To make a long, really magical story short, I spent many hours finding the perfect Ganesh pendant and the one you see around my neck in this pic has been blessed by many holy people and is 100% my prized possession.
Alright, here is my absolute FAVORITE India quirk. There are freakin' cows everywhere! Traffic has to stop for them. People have to move from them. Bikes have to veer around them. And no one cares. Cows are holy because a)a cow fed Krishna after his birth when his mother died and b)Shiva has a pet cow, Nandi. India believes that everyone has 4 mothers: 1. Your birth Mother 2. Mother India 3. Mother Ganga-ji (the Ganges River) 4. The cow. It's incredible. This picture was taken in Mathura, the birthplace of Krishna and seeing a city bus stop so the cow could leisurely take its time crossing the street is no obscure thing. Don't you love it?
This is Kavita Dweli, an Odissi dancer that absoutely inspired me. She was compelling, specific, and humble. An absolute gift.
Ah, Ganesha... The elephant-headed son of Shiva and Pavarti is my absolute favorite Hindu god. He is the remover of obstacles in your life and a blessing when beginning new things. I am always beginnig new things and for my first dance had to wear an elephant head. It seemed intuitive that I fall in love with Ganesh. To make a long, really magical story short, I spent many hours finding the perfect Ganesh pendant and the one you see around my neck in this pic has been blessed by many holy people and is 100% my prized possession.
exciting announcement! ...not about me...
To everyone who knows Zac Hammer or that loves dance in general, Parsons Dance Company has made an incredibly smart decision and made Zac a company member! He auditioned the week before he graduated college and went directly into this extremely prestigious modern dance company. Zac is living the artist's dream!!! If you know him or have seen him dance, this is in no way a shock to anyone. Check out the announcement of his arrival on their site:
http://www.parsonsdance.org/cms/New_Dancers_.php
All New Yorkers!!! You MUST go see his debut (and some incredible dancing that will probably blow your mind) check out their concert July 27 at SummerStages in Central Park. Please please please do it and then call me and tell me how amazing he is. :)
I could not be a prouder big sister if I tried!
http://www.parsonsdance.org/cms/New_Dancers_.php
All New Yorkers!!! You MUST go see his debut (and some incredible dancing that will probably blow your mind) check out their concert July 27 at SummerStages in Central Park. Please please please do it and then call me and tell me how amazing he is. :)
I could not be a prouder big sister if I tried!
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