Dog Days...

The Dog Days are really getting down there...yikes! Less than a month of 20-something behavior to go!

A word on inspiration, since I have toted the Artist title for some time....

Inspiration, creation and execution are not the same thing.

Of these three things, it's hard to say what is the most important, but I guess I'd have to say, inspiration. Without it the other two, don't exist, nor does capital-A-artistry.

However inspiration's best friend tends to be another evil 'tion.'...procrastination.

Which makes me think that execution is the most important portion of the trifecta in art.

One way or the other, art continues and it always will if society is to grow and flourish. I am proud to be a part of it, but wary of it's process on the psyche. Boy, this is getting convoluted.

Perhaps I'll have more insight on the matter in the dog days of my 30s...

But probably not.

Dog Days #11

No, not diamonds, GAYS are a girl's best friend.

We were built to love each other. Straight guys will never truly understand it, but it's the truth.

Why? No competition, no threat, just understanding of the inner psyche. We can't be catty (I mean, we ARE when it's fun but...) because WE AREN'T THE SAME THING.

But we can be supportive and a true confidante because we were woven with tiny beautiful sparkly threads from the same cloth.

And don't you dare call me a Fag Hag. That's ugly language for a beautiful thing.

Sometimes a girl needs a man to hold her...

And sometimes a man needs a girl to dote on him...

You don't need to be in a romantic relationship to have those things. You just need a good friend.

Only in New York...

So I was on the N yesterday, reading, on my way to the APAP convention to see the Rhythmic Circus guys do their thing.

And then a man walked by me in his underwear...which caused me to look up. And then I looked down the train and there were 12 other people without pants on.

My stop was the next one and I thought, "Is there a pants-less flash mob happening somewhere?" as more pant-free train riders entered the N doing downtown.

Turns out it was this: http://improveverywhere.com/missions/the-no-pants-subway-ride/

To this I say...I guess I live in New York now. The Pants-Less Revolution of yesterday was the final straw in making me realize this. And I realized it with a smile.

Dog Days #10...The Plate Theory

"Always be kind, for everyone is fighting a hard battle." PLATO

This is perhaps the most helpful and grounding theory I have learned throughout my 20s. My mom taught it to me and I have passed it on to most everyone I've really loved.

Everyone has a full plate. Everyone is going through something and is mid-challenge. It is painfully real for everyone, the thing that they are facing.

But do you ever listen to a friend obsess about something that seems trivial and is causing them real pain and you think, holy shit, that is nothing compared to what I am dealing with right now? Or, how can they be complaining, at least they have a roof over their head and running water in their life? Or, how could you talk about something so stupid when you know what I'm going through right now? They are your friend and you want to be there for them, but damn...it's hard.

That's when the Plate Theory comes into play.

While it is true that everyone is dealing with a full plate, everyone has a different size plate. Some people can only deal with a few things because they've got a smallish plate--a tea saucer maybe--while others operate with seemingly too many things at once but still function because they've got a bigger plate--perhaps a banquet table full of plates.

Regardless of the size of that plate, it still feels like a full plate to that person. You have no right to judge what's on their plate or how they are dealing with their full plate--because it feels the same to them as your full plate feels to you. Overwhelming, painful, challenging, self-doubting, anxiety-ridden.

So be patient. Be kind. A full plate is a full plate and we're all doing the best we can.

Dog Days of my Twenties..continued!

Sorry, Dad, I've got to do it....

Let's talk about sex, baby.

Here's the thing--in my experience--it's only good when a) you want it, b) you feel good about yourself with the person you're doing it with, c)there are genuine feelings of affection and caring--dare I say, LOVE--between the two of you and d)you're comfortable enough to ask for what you need or direct said-partner to give it to you.

If any of those things do not apply, it's not worth it. 21-year old Nikki would have never believed me on this because it seemed like everyone in the world was doing it but her and it made her feel like an outcast and an unloveable ogre but it's the truth. The movies, the television shows, those awful beauty magazines that do nothing but make you feel ugly, they keep telling you that sex is always good, sex is always sexy and everyone is having sex.

Lies, young Nikki, lies. Sex is sloppy and kinda awkward at times and there's giggling involved and no, you don't orgasm in 2 minutes every time. Lies, media monster, lies.

But man, when it's good and you are with someone who knows your body and loves you...

It really does make the world go around. And that's the damn truth.