Nostalgic Nikki? ...THAT'S weird...

3 Things have inexplicably rendered me to tears in the last 48 hours...and I am nowhere near my period. Instead, happy memories are making this bizarre thing happen.

1. I watched the original Fame. As I watched it, I had these vivid feelings of being a little girl being baby-sat as my parents went out on a date night, and my brother and I would watch Fame and then Footloose on Saturday nights. We were happily entertained and perfectly happy.

2. Then I went to the new Fame which I could not even begin to tell you if it's a good movie or not. Instead I relived the moments I had attending my own arts high school and then the beautiful moments I had teaching at a different perfectly wonderful arts high school. I cried as a student, I cried as a teacher...but I'm not sure if I ever cried for the movie or the characters within it. Weird, huh?

3. I finally watched the last Rent performance on DVD tonight. After 12 years on B'way, Rent fell victim to the economy like so many other New York staples, closing Sept. 7 2008. I've had this DVD for quite some time and have been meaning to watch it...and I don't know why I haven't. I was such a freakin' Rent-head in high school! Those of you who read this blog and knew me then, can testify to this. I saw this show for the first time on its first national tour, 1 week before Richard told me he had AIDS and Densil and Randy smuggled me into my first gay bar for my first Pride. I have since seen the show at least 6-8 times, I think, and I love it every time. I HATE the movie. But the stage show... it changed me. I watched the final curtain call tonight for the first time and LOST MY SHIT. I cried and cried. Because? Because I felt so much gratitude for having had Rent in my life these last dozen years, I became overwhelmed.

Then Micah called me and told me he had just watched Streisand's Hello, Dolly! for the first time and he was about to watch Sister Act for the first time--and I had so many wonderful memories come flooding back at those too (!!!).

Nostalgia everywhere. It's weird. I couldn't love musical theatre more right now if I tried. Gratitude everywhere. So blessed. So many blessings every day...

And yup, I'm about to go there...ready?.... you sure?...

No day but today, my loves.

Except that yesterday was pretty fantastic.

And tomorrow is sure to be beautiful as well. :)

Nikki's in another show y'all

Rocky Horror Show!

That'd be me on the right. I figured I can't dance around in slutty clothing on stage after age 30 so this may be my last shot! Will the parents...or rather, the Doug....be invited? Jury's still out.

Wish me and my knee luck in this dance-heavy role!

Wishing he were home...

Can you even handle it?

I could not love these boys more if I tried. They literally make my heart goo out in a way that should be illegal for a brooding artist like myself. But I can't help it. I love them with wild abandonment and can't go longer than a month without running to them--I don't care where they live or how poor the timing is or how much I have to do--right around week 2 the craving begins, plans are made by week 3 and week 4 I'm on my way to become "Hawtee Kiki." Let me tell you, Hawtee Kiki is the best version of me there is. She is all laughter and love and silly time.

And then everything is restored. The glass is half full. The tint of my glasses morph to rose. And I return to my life....for 3-4 more weeks. :)

And yes, I bought them that T-shirt.

Because their auntie DOES rock.

I fell in love with Minneapolis again. What a fantastic city...

See? I really did have a birthday party for her.

I am really lucky to have been loved as wholly and as all-encompassing as Ben loved me.

Thinking about him today....wishing him happiness and love...hoping he gets his dreams fulfilled...

Missing him though.

Really missing him.

Lilah's birthday

I entered the actual land of crazy cat lady yesterday. I threw my cat an actual birthday party.

With cake. And hats. And noise poppers. And guests. And it wasn't just a lame excuse to get together and drink--it was legitimately inspired by my cat's birthday.

She got a lavender leash for her birthday. She likes it. Mostly because it means, I will now take her outside. And she likes smellin' the smells and seein' the scenes of outdoor life...what with being an animal and all.

But I guess the whole idea behind it was celebrating that Lilah has been in my life for 2 years now and my life is better for it. It seemed like something to celebrate.