it's all happening...

well, the time has finally come and it's beyond bizarre. i am spending 7 days in limbo, not really living anywhere, not really here, not really there, and then I GO BACK TO SCHOOL. it's hard to believe that somethig i worked so hard for and seemed so far away and unachievable a year ago, is actually here. it's crazy to look back to a year ago.

1 year ago, I was...
...heart-broken beyond words, completely shut down, devastated, and scared that i would never be a part of something that good again, scared that that was the best i'll ever be, scared that i hadn't made a difference, scared to be home
...working retail, wearing designer clothes that i couldn't afford, and wouldn't be caught dead out of the house without heels on.
...someone who had a bumper sticker that said 'babies kill dreams' and really believed it.
...dating someone just to date someone, trying to fill the void of leaving my first love.
...not a college graduate, despite having left college two years previous, and it hanted me.
...12 pounds thinner
...a girl who told everyone i was taking a year off and then going to grad school, never once believing that it could happen.

NOW, I am...
...grounded and at peace 85% of the time, crazy the other 15% but that's how i like it.:)
...a flip-flop wearing, Target-shopping fashion plate who thinks about the workers in India before I buy anything and cannot justify spending too much on anything...I can also probably count how many times I've worn heels this summer, though that makes me a little, teensy bit sad, as i do have a ferce shoe collection.
...a nanny and an aunt who is so in love with my boys my heart could burst at the thought of Lex, Carter, or Logan at any given moment.
...in love with a wonderful man who knows me inside and out and laughs with me everyday like true love.
...a college graduate and a MFA Directing candidate.
...thinking about how to get those 12 pounds off in time to maybe be in 'Cats' this fall. Think it can happen?
...a woman who has followed through on every single promise made about the future one year ago and for some reason, shocked that it is actually all falling into place. I made good on my word.

Sorry about this self-exploratory entry, but that's where my head is. Also while I'm at it, I've got to say how much I have enjoyed my year of vacation in Uptown. This year of not really doing theater and not working insane hours or being bogged down with the kind of responsibilty that comes from working with kids, teaching, or the creative process in general, has been so much fun! Root City Wednesdays, Grey's Thursdays, The Fam, the Big Green Couch, walks around Lake of the Isles, Calhoun, Harriet, Twins and Timberwolves games, snow nights, Santorini's, GREEN MILL, THE DINER, weekend visits with Gayle, LEX!!!, The Fam, The Fam, The Fam, and every second with Ben has been the kind of year you tell your kids about when they ask what you were like before you had them and they can't believe the kinds of stories you have for them. It's just been incredible so thank you for everyone that has been a part of this wonderful time of fresh breath and healing. I needed it.

But just for the record, I cannot WAIT to be doing theater again every day!!!!!! It's time!!
Come see me in Mankato, y'all...it'll be different, a new phase has begun for me, but I want you to be a part of it...
See you in 3!