gratitude

After a few months of hard times (although not all that hard in comparison to many), I've decided to take a page out of Oprah's book and declare my gratitude for so many things and people in my life that really make a difference. So yes, I'm busy and overworked and never have any me time or Ben time, and haven't spent any time with friends in months, I still got it pretty damn good. It's easy to see that after a day of hiking through the beautiful Cascade mountains in Portland with a soul sister like Kelli. P.s. Wanna get over yourself? Go witness the magnitude of nature. There's just nothing in your life that is as big a deal as waterfalls off of mountains. Trust. So...

Family-- Mom, Dad, Brenda, Chris, Bree, & Scott--I am so grateful to have the kind of parents and siblings that take me as I am any time they can get me. I have the kind of family that makes sacrifices in their own lives to make my life easier. I have the kind of family that celebrates my dreams and my pursuit of happiness. I have the kind of family that listens to my bitch for an hour, and then keeps it positive. I am grateful for you.

Friends--Cory, Pat, Alex, long distance: Jeana, Zac, & the NYC crew--I am so grateful to have the kind of friends that always allow me to pick up where I left off. I have the kind of friends who understand life's constraints and are happy to share whatever moments we can. After a year of losing the closest friend I'd had, the presence of you wonderful people pursuing your own journeys, who understand you have my undying support and love whenever you need it, even if our phyiscal presence isnt' there for each other. Whether it be a random phone call at 1am or one liner of an e-mail, I love my friends dearly, no matter what our pasts look like.

The Universal Family we've made--Kate, Kate, and Kelli--I am so grateful to have the kind of soul sisters who understand my spirit, energy, and karma. The kind of women who celebrate my need to cleanse and pontificate about my place in the universe and the true nature of my purpose. Thank you for knowing that when my karma feels bad, it's a really big deal to me. Thank you for the unsaid and open invitation you've given me to all of your sanctuarys. Thank you for your universal love. I am grateful.

Ben--I am grateful to have the kind of love that feels like partnership with no end date in sight. It's been hard lately, but I am grateful that we both have fortitude and seriousness of purpse to finish what we began so we can have the life we dream about. I am grateful to at last, know what it is to be LOVED and to truly love in return.

Theater--I am grateful to have had the kind of support from the previous listed gratitudes to still be having a deep love affair with this art. I love you, Theater. In your ugly, beautiful, human, and divine natures, you are the life I've chosen to pursue without many doubts and without ANY regrets. I am so grateful that I have been blessed to have the means to continue to pursue the theater artist's life. And regardless of the hoops and the gauntlets that currently accompany the presence of theater in my life, I am so grateful to be attaining the kind of knowledge that is going to make it possible to make this a life long love affair.

Dance--Two knee surgerys, obesity, money constraints and lack of availability, and you still fill my soul like nothing else. You have never left me. I have never been nor will I ever be an amazing technical dancer, but dancing feels right in my body and has been my soul-filler and salvation, far more than any church service. I am grateful that my parents started it for me, my mom fought hard that I never had to stop it, and that I knew myself well enough to know it was a part of me. I am grateful.

NYC, Boston, Orlando, Vegas, Portland, Russia, Italy, India, and all the others--I am so grateful to have been born into a life where travel was able to happen. The many place I have been blessed enough to have witnessed have broadened my perspective, instilled gratitude for where I come from, and made me who I am. For the previous gratitudes who I have traveled with or travelled to, you are also a part of this part of the journey for me. I am so grateful to have seen what I have seen and to see what I see.

The babies--Lex, Carter, Logan, and Delilah--I am so grateful to experience what it is to love something more than I love myself and to know what it is to truly consider what another being NEEDS to be happy. It has changed me to love you and to care for you, to understand your dependance and your potential. I am grateful that you came into my life and made my heart grow exponentially.

Oprah's right. I feel good now. In perspective, I have no reason to feel any other way. Thank you thank you thank you...

Namaste...