Michael John and me

It's rare in our lives that we get to meet and connect with people whose work has seriously affected our own work.  How often does a young actor get to spend a weekend with Meryl Streep?  Or a young basketball player with Kevin Garnett?  Or something else to that ilk...

This past weekend has been one of the most overwhelming experiences of my life.  First off, I had amazing support from all of my loved ones.  In attendance were: Ben (3x), Mom (2x), Kate, Little Kate and Joey, Grandma and Robbie, Gary and Sheila, Dad  and Brenda, Chris and Laura, Ben's parents and sibling (Beth, Paul, Chris, Dan and Alicia), Evey, Blake, Pat, Cory, Diana, and there were also two adorable nephews crawling around this weekend.  This is not even to mention the support and attendance of the department.  Even if there had been no LaChiusa, this weekend would have me feeling blessed and fortunate.  To do what I do and love who I love...well, it's not so bad.

But the fact is there was also this man, Michael John LaChiusa, who wrote the show and began inspiring me eight years ago.  He was wonderful to all of us: warm, genuine, generous.  He told me the truth too--parts of the show that could have been better, other parts that he loved.  He taught me so much about our craft and the world we have around us.  It feels like a dream.  He said we were friends now when I left and sent me an e-mail the next morning of a funny youtube video that he thought I'd like.  I have a new friend.  A real one. 

Life is good.  And the show turned out alright too...

Wanna listen to me talk shop?

www.mnsu.edu/theatre

Scan down to the 'See What I Wanna See' poster and check it out!

I was interviewed and also wrote the little snippet at the bottom of the page.

Send us positive energy!  Thank you!

How great is this?!

Overheard in Mankato: A True Story

While at Dunn Brothers, a naughty 5 year old and his mother enter.  The mother has brought a girlfriends with whom I can only assume she was trying to have an adult time with...  the son was having none of it.  Over the mother's conversation, he yells at the top of his voice:

Little boy:  Mommy, I love bagels!!  I love bagels!!

Mother ignores him.

Little boy:  I love cookies, Mommy!  I love cookies!!!!

Mother ignores him again...he gets louder.

Little boy:  Mommy!  Mommy!  Mommy!! I love chocolate!!  I want your chocolate!

Yup....ignoring.  The volume and resonance of this small child was quite amazing.

Little boy:  MOMMY, I LOVE BOOBIES!!!

Mother gasps and suddenly covers her son's mouth.  Nearby coffee drinker (me) starts laughing and can't stop.

Mother:  Oh my god, I'm so sorry.

Me:  Well, at least you know he's not gay.

I had a moment at the polls today and have had a hard time not crying all day.

The power of this day is overwhelming.  

With hope...

My cat is depressed.

Lilah snuck out a window and jumped off the roof early this morning.  

I found her in a bush crying.  It was horrifying.

I think she's suicidal.

Can cats get therapy?

I figured something out tonight!

I have been missing endorphins!  THAT'S why I'm all Lady Sings the Blues lately!  My knee has been bothering me to a scary extent for the last month, due to a ridiculous dance piece I am in.  (It's ridiculous that I thought being in a modern dance was a good idea, not that the choreography is ridiculous...but that kinda is too.)  Anyway, I've been away from the gym and getting a good old fashioned-low impact-none plie-oriented sweat for over a month--I went back to the gym today.  I feel much much much better.  And guess how much less stressful an elliptical is on your knees than dancing five days a week...  

And then later, I binged on salsa and threw up.  But I don't think they're related.

Nikki's going back to the gym!  And it has nothing to do with the size of her ass!

personal catharsis...lots of girly feelings...beware.

So about a year ago, my best friend of 8 years stopped talking to me.  She simply just stopped acknowledging my existence.  There was no fight, there was no blowout, there wasn't even an event in which I can say, "that was the last day of our friendship."  It's been over a year, more or less, I guess since I can't really say when it ended, and I am not able to get over it.  The last three nights in a row, I have had the same extremely vivid dream in which I run into her in a bar, try to connect with her, and she just keeps walking away from me.  I have really been ebbing and flowing as far as how "over" this I am, and suddenly this week, I am not over it...again.  Maybe it's because we still have all the same friends, she lives in my old apartment, I see her and have an incredibly awkward time because of it almost every time I am in Mpls.  She just won't go away and I cannot make myself look her in the eye.  It's been a year!  I am queen of getting over things.  I really am.  (Ask Gayle.  She is continually amazed with how fast I can forgive and forget.)  I am just still so hurt.  And I don't want to make any new friends because what if, eight years from now, they don't want to know me anymore either?  I've kept it pretty much to myself this whole time (except to Ben, who hates her on principle) but if I am still dreaming about it, it's obviously something, right?

Any suggestions on how to let this go?  

An update for those who hassle...

I just had my first night of rehearsal for 'See What I Wanna See' and it occurred to me that we may just pull this thing off.  For those of you who are thinking "Nikki, it's a musical, when have you not pulled off a musical", I have this to say:

1.  I have never been involved in such a musically complex show in my life.

2. I have never directed a musical that I can't pull out my choreography bag of tricks and make everything shiny and impressive.  This show has NO choreography.  

3.  This really is only the second musical I've ever directed on my own.  

4.  There is a lot at stake with this show: its a new genre of musical for our department, I have something to prove as far as my consistency and competency of directing goes, and the COMPOSER is coming.  (Though even if he weren't, I guarantee I would still be blogging this blog.  It's an important show to me no matter what the extended circumstances may be.)

5.  It's a piece that I am in love with and at the same time, I don't know that I am going to really get it until it's on its feet.  Every time I read it or hear it, I think it's about something new.  

But anyway, the actors tonight really worked hard and are on the same page as me.  I believe that together with the team and the cast, there is enough magic to make it happen.  

That said, can I just say how great it was to be back in rehearsal after my two month break?  I have had a few rehearsal here and there for Abiyoyo, but have been mainly out of the studio since I left Duluth and the glory of High School Musical (read the sarcasm in there, please).  I loved my time off and felt really recharged going back in!  Maybe it IS good to take a break from time to time...Hmmm....

SEE WHAT I WANNA SEE plays Nov. 20-23--Come check it out!!  (Even if you don't have to, George.)