why i get stuck in my head sometimes...

many may believe that i am a worry-free, roll with it, kind of girl. perhaps i can be viewed as a good-time gal even... maybe i project too much confidence sometimes and that makes me seem apathetic... i've been charged with these things before...

but then again, maybe i'm totally askewed as to how people actually view me. what's the old saying, 'what other people think of me is none of my business'?

anyway, the point is...sometimes i'm not! sometimes i am down right anxious. and worried. and i fear that things aren't going to get done or that people are going to go away. or that i just won't have any control over anything ever again.

right now is one of the moments. maybe it's just the 4 hours of studying for a logic test that's got to me, but dang! sometimes it's just hard to get the noise out of your head so that you can just work and get shit done! grrrr arrrrgghh.

right now i miss her:
sangeetha always made me take myself a little less seriously by sheer comparison.

and i really miss them tonight:



i talked to one of my kids tonight and part of me still wants to be out there to fix things for them. they brought out the best in me and i really think it was reciprocal. no regrets anymore and i am absolutely in the right place now, but when i get phone calls from crying advisees, i still want to start running around that campus to make everything better.

but instead i'll light some candles and get that journal out and send positive energy to them, to my friends that i miss so far away, and to me so that maybe i can unstuck in this mind of mine...
muchlove...